An abuse exists when a more powerful person takes advantage of a weaker person; domestic violence is a form of abuse in which a more powerful partner tries to assert control over the other using different means. The following are some of the ways through which one partner may want to exert control over another:
Verbal Abuse - In verbal abuse, language is the weapon of aggression; it is used to hurt the partner through spoken words or in written form including abusive text messages. Verbal abuse aims at damaging a person's self-esteem, self worth and emotional well-being to the extent that it eventually takes a toll on the victim's physical and mental well being. According to Wikipedia, verbal abuse includes scolding, bullying, defaming, defining, trivializing, harassing, interrogating, accusing, blaming, countering, lying, berating, taunting, putting down, discounting, threatening, name-calling, yelling and raging.
Verbal abuse is the most common form of abuse and women are often as guilty as men in this vice. It impairs the dignity as well as reduces the self confidence of the victim thus making him/her easier to control. Verbal abuse creates a negative environment of self doubt, which makes the victim develop an inferiority complex; it usually increases in intensity and may lead to physical assault if left unchecked. A lot of persons who engage in verbal abuse feel inferior in their persons and so try to transmit such feelings to their victims.
Physical Abuse - This is the most violent form of abuse in which the abuser inflicts pain or injury on the victim through such despicable acts like slapping, kicking, boxing, pulling hair, shoving, biting, choking, beating with belt, hitting and twisting of arms. The abusive incidents may be occasional or regular and may start with verbal altercation that leads to a tension-building phase which results in beating. The assault is often followed by a period of calm during which the abuser feigns remorse and tries to placate the victim. Attitude to physical abuse varies; at the beginning of a misunderstanding, some victims may choose to be quiet so that a fight may be averted while some others may choose to bring on the violence so as to "get it over with."
Physical abuse is commonly perpetrated by male partners against females although there are instances where the female is the aggressor. It is the most degrading form of domestic violence and it costs the State a lot in terms of resources deployed in preventing it. Jane O'Reilly in an article titled Wife Beating: The Silent Crime published in the Time issue of 5th September 1983,page 23 wrote, "Nearly 6 million wives will be abused by their husbands in any one year. Some 2,000 to 4,000 women are beaten to death annually. The nation's police spend one third of their time responding to domestic violence calls." Battery is the single major cause of injury to women more significant than accidents, rapes or muggings.
Emotional or Psychological Abuse - Like the other abuses, it is motivated by urges for power and control. The goal is to systematically diminish the partner to the extent that the partner loses his/her self confidence and now yields his/her self to the control of the partner. A partner may engage in emotionally abusing the mate deliberately or subconsciously and it may go on for a long period or could be periodic. The US Department of Justice defines emotionally abusive traits as including causing fear by intimidation, threatening physical harm to self, partner, children or partner's family or friends, destruction of pets and property, forcing isolation from family, friends, school or work. It may include being yelled/shouted at, spoken to rudely, name calling such as you cow, stupid, liar and rejection. The abuser may choose to treat the mate as a servant, and make all the big decisions without any recourse to him/her.
Psychological abuse is perhaps the most reliable predictor of a partner's likelihood of engaging in physical aggression in marriage.
Economic Abuse - A partner uses economic blockade to gain control of the mate. The man may prevent the wife from seeking gainful employment so that she would be forced to ask for money for her needs. She has to do the husband's bidding or else she would not get any money. Some men collect their wives paycheck or make them operate a common purse which the man controls. He makes the woman believe that submitting her money is an act of submission which Christian marriage demands.
Sexual Abuse - In this form of abuse, the husband reduces the mate to a sex object and would make her do demeaning sexual things that are against her beliefs. Some go to the extent of physically attacking the sexual parts of her body or engaging in extramarital affairs to make her feel sexually unattractive. A man may deny his mate her sexual rights if only to punish her while he meets his sexual needs else where.
Isolation - This form of abuse aims at limiting the mate's access to other persons who are in a position to mitigate the abuse of his/her partner or who can influence him/her to change. The partner does this so that he/she can control what the partner does or monitor his/her activities outside the home. A man with such a motive may cause the family to relocate to a distant place where he can carry out his evil schemes without anyone calling him to order.
Spiritual Abuse - This is a subtle form of abuse in which one partner uses scripture verses to manipulate the other to do his/her bidding. He uses the scripture verse that says women should submit to their husbands to demand unquestioning obedience from the wife without any right to disagree. Such men use their wives shortcomings as sermon topics during family devotions. A mate is denied the basic right to dissent on issues that concern interpretation of scripture all under the pretext that the husband is the head of the home and whatever interpretation he gives to scripture is final. The woman is made to submit to things ordinarily she would not have done all in the name of God.
Various Forms of Domestic Violence - 7 Common Types Check For The New Release in Health, Fitness & Dieting Category of Books NOW!
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This article was written by Dr Francis Edo Olotu, Physician, Family Counselor, Author, Conference Speaker and host of the Blog Empowering Dads.Email address: empoweringdads@gmail.com Visit his blog http://www.empoweringdads.wordpress.com for a rich diversity of articles on family and health issues.
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